munro2's Cancer Blog
August 6, 2010
Hi everyone I know I have been along time gone from here but no offence ment I thought this damned thing behind me.
Instead I find myself with a new prob and as always there don’t seem to ne a way out.
From 3 touours in my lungs and months and to live I find myself with 1 pesky spot on my scan and no way forward.
You see if I don’t have clear scan I cannot go for hypebaric treatments fix the blood flow in my jaw bone.
I know there lots of you facing death soon But I bring this
up with a brazen heart because I was there and have done that too.
Big deal you are probly thinking right? Well I would rather keep my jaw thank you very much so screw you too.
The doctors say lots of us go on this way but my gut says no way. And is all I care is what think, somtimes I wonder if these guys and gals have clue at all, I mean things they put us thru and so you win against all odds and still you have to deal.
I want to vent and so I so if you think this is pissant moaning by all means stop reading and go on to someone more worthy of your attention then.
Seems to me like I am in limbo neither saved nor condemned.
No I can’t spell and if you can’t sound it out you can go too spell check be damned. I got to many worts to care about that.
Any ways if a bone don’t have blood supply it seems to me it has to fail sooner than despite so called wiser people have to say about it. fine for them I thinking they don’t need to chew with it so you can take 3 bucks to the coofee shop with thier wisdom and you still don’t have enough for a latte if you get my meaning.
Ungrateful maybe so. they ain’t gods though no matter what they think, I rule me and thats that end of story.
Well I got that out of me and I feel a little better but If you take anything away from this let it be this keep your power and your right to think for I mean whats the use of living if become a slave in the bargain thats no deal at all
March 3, 2010
So my sister contacts 2 weeks ago and my brother is dead.
What happened?
Well, he died of cancer.
6 weeks after the doctor told he had it gone.
I did not even know he was sick.
It must have burned thru him like a fire.
Here I am coming out of a long battle almost 5 years looking around trying figure out where to start regaining my fitness and the axe falls on my brother like that.
A finger snap, bang! he’s gone.
Makes once again wonder why I get the buy and others fall so fast.
I mean this my full blood born 2 years after me.
Like I know I beat odds already right? the numbers on who gets on metastic lung cancer are dismal to say the least.
I was refused surgery because I was not a canidate, to many tomuers in too many distant places in my lungs.
3 of them 4 cm across
Puts a fella thinking of cementary plots and how much they cost.
Then just a little chemo, really all they said they could do was slow it down a little give me a few more months.
And they just melted away, just like that, it all seems more like a bad dream is all now.
I never forget the doctor telling me the news said “There is the odd one”
The number is 5%
1 out 20 gets a pass no reason they know of, once in a while it just happens, they call it a dramatic reaction to chemo
No body knows why me and not somebody else.
Do I pray better then the next guy?
I think not.
Fate is A fickle lady they say, maybe tomorrow I walk in front of a bus.
Such is life.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I understand how you feel. My 35 year old sister died from breast cancer that spread to her brain in 1958 leaving two young children. I was 16 at the time. I am 68 now and I still don’t understand WHY she died and I am still here.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Hugs, Joyce In NC
Posted on i am so sorry to hear of the death of your brother. cancer really does not make any sense at all, does it. i will be praying for you and your family. hugs, debby
Posted on 
Thanks for your support - 
